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Frog A, Frog B in London... (Story by Max)
posté le 01 February 2007 et 14:05.
Alors voila une petite histoire écrite par Max. Il faut savoir que l'idée des grenouilles a été visiblement suggérée par une personne que je connais bien et que j'apprécie particulièrement... allé, je vous le donne Emile : c'était moi !En fait c'est par un matin pluvieux (ce qui n'est finalement pas courant à Londres) que j'ai reçu un mail de Max souhaitant prendre de mes nouvelles et me demandant si j'étais satisfait de ce magnifique temps typiquement Londonien...
Ma réponse fut un truc du style : "bah je suis pas venu à Londres pour bronzer de toute façon... et puis, tu sais, nous autres "les Frogs", puisque c'est comme cela qu'ils nous appellent, nous supportons très bien la pluie et avons besoin d'eau pour survivre."
Toujours est-il que ca lui a donne l'idée d'écrire ce petit texte.
Personnellement, je n'ai pas encore du complètement saisir l'infinie profondeur de l'humour anglais. Pourtant je prends des cours avec Max qui, vous allez en juger par vous-même, n'est pas mal dans son genre !
Introduction :
Frog A and Frog B are two bio creatures. They are members of the Frogs Internationale, which is a global forum representing the interests of the world frogs community.
Frog A is a smart (but a little bit lazy) pragmatic sensualist.
Frog B is a complex, modern ideologue, with beaucoup d’energy.
They meet one day in the middle of winter and have this conversation:
Frog A: Monsieur, I would like to invite you to a party very soon. Would you like to come?
Frog B: Parties are always interesting! What kind of party are you having, Monsieur?
Frog A: Well it’s a frog cuisine celebration. The party has three mottos: Occasion, Nourriture et Indulgence Gastronomique!
Frog B: or maybe Consommationisme Opportuniste! it is shorter!
Frog A: I am not sure if the party organs will like that motto! But I shall tell them (I hope I’ll be able to remember:-)
Frog B: Tell me, dear Monsieur, do you like mushrooms?
Frog A: Mushrooms? Nuclear mushrooms? Or mushrooms from Sainsbury?
Frog B: not really (maybe one day. It is more like Mushrooms from Camden!
Frog A: Aha (very interesting)!! Those mushrooms! I know exactly what you are saying (but Camden is a little bit too far)
Frog B: Yes, Monsieur.
Frog A: Tell me, my friend ... Can these mushrooms be cooked in oil?
Frog B: I suppose it is possible. But only if you insist.
Frog A: Ok, I insist then (maybe we could borrow some olive oil from Roman)!!
Frog B: As you prefer, Monsieur. Yesterday when I was relaxing by the fountain pool in Trafalgar Square, I met a donkey.
Frog A : A donkey, Monsieur? What kind of donkey?
Frog B: A professional donkey, I think he is from Italy. He told me he came here on an invitation from Interpol. It is part of the Global Management Conference on Sex Politics for a Better Future.
Frog A: Are you sure he is a donkey, and not a stallion?
Frog B: No, he was very intelligent! I am sure he was a donkey.
Frog A: Look, Monsieur, we have to continue this conversation another time. Can I give you one of these vouchers?
Frog B: Voucher? Discount Voucher, eh? Wait, let me read it: “GET FAT QUICK WITH BIGMAC! OFFERS ARRESTING TASTE/SENSATIONAL PLEASURE EXPERIENCE FOR ALL CITY FROGS. BIGMAC WILL TAKE EVERY PENNY YOU SAVE & OFFER YOU A SERVICE YOU CAN NOT FORGET! ENJOY! THE BIGMAC TEAM”
Frog A: By the way, Monsieur, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I don’t work for Bigmac (I just could not possibly resist the temptation of “sensational pleasure”!); near Warren Street, a sign man gave me 2 of these vouchers. I shall take one (or maybe I give it to Pam?) and if you want you can take this one, Monsieur. Monsieur, may I exploit this opportunity to say something funny? May I have your permission to make an impression of you?
Frog B: Of course, Monsieur!
Frog A: OK, here we go(avec accent anglaise):
I am the frog reggae
with a lot of energy
I am the complex English idea
am the Enemy of the Anti-Messiah!
Frog B: Bravo! That was brilliant, Monsieur! I couldn’t have done it better myself. You have been observing a lot here! Maybe, Monsieur wouldn’t mind if I do an impression of him, a la francaise. Can I?
Frog A: Certainly, Monsieur!
Frog B: OK, here we go (avec accent français):
You know if you wer a frog, and you wer in my room doing gha gha, gha, all dis stupid noyz, you know wat I wood doo? I would put my fingeur (encore accent français) in your ass to teach you a leçon, you stupid French frog!
Frog A and Frog B are two bio creatures. They are members of the Frogs Internationale, which is a global forum representing the interests of the world frogs community.
Frog A is a smart (but a little bit lazy) pragmatic sensualist.
Frog B is a complex, modern ideologue, with beaucoup d’energy.
They meet one day in the middle of winter and have this conversation:
Frog A: Monsieur, I would like to invite you to a party very soon. Would you like to come?
Frog B: Parties are always interesting! What kind of party are you having, Monsieur?
Frog A: Well it’s a frog cuisine celebration. The party has three mottos: Occasion, Nourriture et Indulgence Gastronomique!
Frog B: or maybe Consommationisme Opportuniste! it is shorter!
Frog A: I am not sure if the party organs will like that motto! But I shall tell them (I hope I’ll be able to remember:-)
Frog B: Tell me, dear Monsieur, do you like mushrooms?
Frog A: Mushrooms? Nuclear mushrooms? Or mushrooms from Sainsbury?
Frog B: not really (maybe one day. It is more like Mushrooms from Camden!
Frog A: Aha (very interesting)!! Those mushrooms! I know exactly what you are saying (but Camden is a little bit too far)
Frog B: Yes, Monsieur.
Frog A: Tell me, my friend ... Can these mushrooms be cooked in oil?
Frog B: I suppose it is possible. But only if you insist.
Frog A: Ok, I insist then (maybe we could borrow some olive oil from Roman)!!
Frog B: As you prefer, Monsieur. Yesterday when I was relaxing by the fountain pool in Trafalgar Square, I met a donkey.
Frog A : A donkey, Monsieur? What kind of donkey?
Frog B: A professional donkey, I think he is from Italy. He told me he came here on an invitation from Interpol. It is part of the Global Management Conference on Sex Politics for a Better Future.
Frog A: Are you sure he is a donkey, and not a stallion?
Frog B: No, he was very intelligent! I am sure he was a donkey.
Frog A: Look, Monsieur, we have to continue this conversation another time. Can I give you one of these vouchers?
Frog B: Voucher? Discount Voucher, eh? Wait, let me read it: “GET FAT QUICK WITH BIGMAC! OFFERS ARRESTING TASTE/SENSATIONAL PLEASURE EXPERIENCE FOR ALL CITY FROGS. BIGMAC WILL TAKE EVERY PENNY YOU SAVE & OFFER YOU A SERVICE YOU CAN NOT FORGET! ENJOY! THE BIGMAC TEAM”
Frog A: By the way, Monsieur, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I don’t work for Bigmac (I just could not possibly resist the temptation of “sensational pleasure”!); near Warren Street, a sign man gave me 2 of these vouchers. I shall take one (or maybe I give it to Pam?) and if you want you can take this one, Monsieur. Monsieur, may I exploit this opportunity to say something funny? May I have your permission to make an impression of you?
Frog B: Of course, Monsieur!
Frog A: OK, here we go(avec accent anglaise):
I am the frog reggae
with a lot of energy
I am the complex English idea
am the Enemy of the Anti-Messiah!
Frog B: Bravo! That was brilliant, Monsieur! I couldn’t have done it better myself. You have been observing a lot here! Maybe, Monsieur wouldn’t mind if I do an impression of him, a la francaise. Can I?
Frog A: Certainly, Monsieur!
Frog B: OK, here we go (avec accent français):
You know if you wer a frog, and you wer in my room doing gha gha, gha, all dis stupid noyz, you know wat I wood doo? I would put my fingeur (encore accent français) in your ass to teach you a leçon, you stupid French frog!
Max
